Category: Parent Talk
hey guys, i wanted your suggestions on this. i've been living on my own for about a year. and my mom is constantly asking me to lend her money, but i tell her that i can't because i'm living on my own now. she still thinks that the government should help me with everything even housing and food. i keep telling her, that she can't be depending on me for financial support, but she is too stubborn to understand. any suggestions would really help.
I definitely think you're doing the right thing, and it's something she'll have to understand. Not sure if you work, but if not, the money the government gives out is nowhere enough to subsist for a single person, much less someone else. Depending on your relationship with her, it might be hard to say no to a close family member, but keep at it, I'm sure she can find a way to get money.
I tend to agree with the last post on this. Many questions come to mind, however. What is your mom's financial situation is probably one of the more important ones, and why does she need the money. This is nobody's business but the two of you, so I'm not asking you to tell us anything. I think the other thing that gets nasty with family is that sometimes money "loaned" among family members turns into a "gift" so the other part of this is to ask yourself if you can really afford to not see the money again. Hope this helps.
Lou
Wow. That's a bit hard isn't it? Does she have any other relatives where she can get money from? Why does she ask you? I understand it is impossible to lend much money when oyu live on your own. Have you other relatives to whom you can talk about this? Or talk to your mum with them about this situation? That's all I can think of right now, sorry. Tough situation I'd say.
I gotta agree with the last 3 posters.
Not saying that you should do this, but I ended up letting my mom go for all the stinginess and careless behavior that got between our relationship. There are other reasons I let her go though. Not just because she would borr= money for cigarettes and frivolous shit, and not pay me back. There were other reasons as well, but yu sruld consider the fact that at least you are trying to make it on your own, unlike her whose borrowing money from you, and you're probably not the only one who she asks. Don't ever let hr guilt you in to it. Yu are an independent self-sufficient person, and you deserve all the money you want and need. It's not your job to support peoples' bad habits and careless spending. Good luck.
thanks guys for all the help so far. i'm just gonna have to keep explaining it till she gets it or she doesn't want to talk anymore.
SunshineAndRain has the correct attitude. Relatives who constantly beg for things they are undeserving of rather than taking responsibility for themselves are not worth bothering with. If it is necessary for you to reduce/stop all contact with your mother, that is what you should do.
Hi, My mom always told me, that if you're gonna loan money to people don't expect it back. So if you're in a position where you could spare your mome a little cash that would be nice. provided she doesn't use it on frivolous things. My parents don't ask me for money and when they have in the past it's been for a very small amount. While I don't lend money to family, I would not let my family starve or be homeless, but this is another situation. Maybe you should talk to your mom about her financial habbits and how she can change them.